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Part of his enjoyment comes from knowing that Martin is enjoying it. His fingers brush Martin's hair and Jon makes a soft sound when he feels an arm tighten around him, pulling him closer.

Jon becomes intensely aware of all the places their bodies touch, partly because it's been so long since he's been in a position even remotely like this. He hasn't really thought about it in that long.

Oh, God. What if Martin wants--what if he's expecting--

He pulls back a little - not far, just to give them both space to breathe - and tries to get his thoughts in some kind of order.

Jon pulling back was probably a good thing considering he knows he's getting a little excited. A little uh... aroused. Oh god did Jon-- He blushes a bit, inhaling slowly as he looks him over. Was he thinking it was moving too fast?

"Jon?" He swallows, chewing on his lip.

A hundred things are running through his mind; was he being pushy? Was Jon having second guesses with him? Was Martin the issue?

He was the issue, wasn't he?

Jon manages a smile for Martin's sake - the last thing he wants is to cause any misgivings on Martin's part.

"I'm alright," he says as he brushes his thumb along Martin's cheek. "Just needed a breather."

He can feel his face get warm as he says it. Is that still misleading? He isn't lying. Jon shifts his weight slightly and--oh. Oh. Oh God, will Martin think something's wrong with him if he isn't--if he doesn't--?

"Y-yeah? Yeah, sure." He smiles softly, relaxing a little under his touch.

Okay. He was jumping too far into his own doubts and insecurities. They were fine! This wasn't... because of who he is. He can just pump the breaks a little and just slow down.

Then Jon shifts. He shifts and Martin has to close his eyes. He was just thinking of slowing things down and that's Jon rubbing up against him even if it's by accident! He would like to just disappear now, thank you.

"Sorry," he says without thinking, a bit flustered by what he's... caused. Flattered, definitely, but he isn't sure exactly--well, he knows what he could do. "I uhm--sorry."

Jon laughs, trying to keep it light. He doesn't know what to say, if he could or should just go along with it. He thinks he can. Georgie just sort of stopped trying after a while and seemed alright with it.

"Don't! Don't be sorry." He glances away for a second, then lets his eyes settle back on Jon's face. "Look I... uh...we can slow down?"

That sounded dumb. God that sounded really dumb and unsure.

"I mean I can't really uh..help that but who can?" The male body is a nightmare and he's so, so sorry, he thinks as he laughs nervously. "So uh...why don't we uh. Talk about it first?"

Talk, right. Jon already thinks he's done something wrong, or ruined something, but he tries to rein that in as Martin gives him proverbial space. How does he articulate this when he never has before?

"I ah--I just don't--" It isn't even that he doesn't get aroused, he does. "I just don't want you to think it's you if I don't--go further than this."

God, could he make this more awkward? There's nothing wrong with Martin. Just with him, maybe.

"Okay." Okay. That's a good start. He smiles a little. "Okay so let's slow down. It's not like we have to... go hop into bed." He laughs. "It's all right."

He rubs Jon's hips, sliding him back a bit so they weren't so close, but also so Martin is distracted by... well. He could think without his dick! Really!

"I don't mind."

"You don't? Really?"

Jon looks up to meet Martin's gaze. He doesn't know what he was expecting, and maybe it was unfair to Martin that it hadn't been acceptance. He shifts when Martin nudges him back a bit, giving him some space. Jon keeps his hand resting on Martin's chest, wanting to maintain a bit of contact.

"Really. Jon, it's fine. It's not like I got into this relationship thinking it was going to be round-the-clock sex. If you're not ready or just... not interested it's okay."

Not to hit the nail on the head at all or anything. He actually doesn't know that Jon might not be interested in sex at all, but he respects him. Loves him no matter what he learns about him.

"Just, let me know if I push too far?"

"Of course. I'll uh... do my best," he says with a weak laugh.

Jon bites his lip as he looks at Martin, then leans close to kiss him again. He does want this, he likes the expression of affection and he enjoys the way it makes him feel close to Martin. He'd be content if it doesn't go any further than this. He doesn't know if Martin will be forever, but he'll enjoy it now. And he wants Martin to feel good, too.

"Good." He's all smiles and back to being relaxed knowing that Jon wants him.

He shifts again, heart no longer racing (and he's just now noticing oh god) and he returns the kiss with a gentle press. Martin adores the affection he's getting so far, and it's more than he ever thought he'd get. After pining for so long.

"Anything else I should know about?" He chuckles a bit, moving to cup his cheek. "Or that we should talk about?"

Jon would have been content to let it go at that, but soon enough they've paused again and Martin is being so tender in the way he asks. How does he articulate something he's never really talked about?

"I uhm." Good start. Jon hasn't put this much thought into it before. "I don't think so?"

They've established going slow, so that's something. Jon thinks that will be alright for a while. Martin's been terribly understanding so far.

"Well if you... think of something just. Just let me know." He smiles gently, hand moving around to the small of his back.

Communication is a good thing. Martin leans forward to capture his lips again, wanting to get back to that moment before. Back to when they weren't so worried about going too far. Where they could get lost in each other.

That's what Jon wants, too. To not worry about what might come next for them, to divorce himself from all the concerns twisting up in his gut. All he wants in the world is to focus on the press of Martin's lips, the brief sweep of his tongue, and the warmth of his hands.

It's easy to fall back into kissing--making out--and before long Jon is scooting closer on Martin's lap just to feel closer. He doesn't have an agenda beyond that. But something tugs at the back of his mind and he can't quite ignore it. He pauses.

"Is there anything I should know...?"

"Anything you should... what? Oh! No. No, I can't really think of anything."

How could he when Jon's right there in his lap kissing him? With gentle lips and tongue, and a need to just be closer. He's glad that they talked, even if it was just a small bit, so they could be on common ground together. He tips his head forward, capturing his lips again with a slight nip.

It just says shut up, Jon without really saying it, doesn't it?

The nip surprises him but Jon ends up smiling against the next kiss. He manages to take the hint. Jon sighs quietly and sinks against Martin. He drapes his arms around the other man's shoulders. He runs his fingers over Martin's hair and slides one hand down to lightly rest it against his chest.

Jon doesn't pull back again until he's feeling lightheaded. He bumps his brow against Martin's and keeps his eyes closed as he catches his breath.

"I think we missed the movie," he murmurs, a little smile on his face.

Martin smiles softly, a slightly laugh escaping as he catches his breath. Yeah, yeah they missed the movie. But he’s finding that he didn’t really mind. He just wants to spend time with Jon and if that means making out on his couch? Then yeah.

This is probably his favorite date of many more to come.

“Maybe we can try to watch it again. This time actually watch it instead of... me getting distracted with your face.”

"Should I sit on the other side of the couch?" he asks with a little grin. Jon doesn't think his face is that distracting, or much of anything to look at, but he's in too good a mood to put up a fight.

Still, he absently touches some of the scars on the side of his face.

"No, I think I quite like you right here." He encircles Jon's waist, enjoying the little grin.

It's when he touches some of the scars that Martin moves his hand, lifting up to cover Jon's with a soft smile. He knows what he must think, Prentiss did a number on all of them didn't she? Mental, physical -- they all had scars, and Jon more so because he... can't keep himself out of trouble.

"You're not going to convince me that you're not attractive, Jonathan Sims." Martin's firm about it, though the words are quiet and soft, practically whispered.

"Well, you know me and losing battles."

He doesn't give them up easily, even when he's being a reckless idiot. Which is part of the reason he has so many scars to begin with. Jon laughs a bit, but he does relax as Martin's hand covers his own. His fingers brush against Martin's, lacing together briefly.

Jon knows, vaguely, that he is not unattractive, but it isn't something he thinks about often. He's generally not out to attract other people, so he doesn't think of himself that way. But it is kind of nice to hear.

"You charge forward without any thought of self preservation?" He grins, cheekily.

That was a conversation they needed to have, how reckless Jon can be when he's focused and determined. A conversation for another day, however, because he was teasing him. He holds his hand, enjoying the close comfort.

"Kidding, kidding." Martin nudges at him. "I'm....really glad you're here."

Martin isn't wrong, though. He usually has some kind of a plan, but not having a full one has never stopped him before. Jon brushes his fingers along the back of Martin's neck and over his hair.

"I'm glad I came."

He'd been fretting over it, going back and forth. They'd gone on dates, but always somewhere out, somewhere that involved each of them going home separately. It's very intimate to be in Martin's home. Never mind being in his lap.

"You should...come over more often." He's blushing, totally blushing because yeah, Jon is in his lap, here in his house, and it's just. Just so nice.

Martin feels silly, just holding him there. Jon is surprisingly light, and he's not thinking about lifting him up. Nope. Not at all.

Maybe later.

"It's been a while since I cooked last. Maybe I'll bring you lunch."

"You don't have to go through all that trouble," he says with a faint blush. It's a sweet offer, and he doesn't really want to turn Martin down - he's a good cook, apparently. Jon wasn't expecting that, though maybe he should have. Martin's very attentive to what people like.

"Though, I won't be disappointed if you brought me some left-overs tomorrow."

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